WHY MARRIAGE?

Chapter 1: Why Marriage?

So why did you get married in the first place? Whenever I ask this question to a person having marital difficulties, the answers don't seem to come very easily. More often than not, the answer is something to the effect that they were in love and they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. The inference is that because you love someone today, this love will always be there. Thus, you will always want to be together. However, experience and time will reveal that there will be times when that love does not exist or is diminished considerably. So what happens then? Does that mean the marriage is over?

Truthfully, the initial love we feel for our spouse is the smallest part of the marriage equation. In fact, for so many marriages, the most they will ever be in love is during the courtship and the honeymoon phase after the marriage. Once that is over, life kicks in and the love meter declines on a steady basis. This is very sad and it doesn't have to be that way.

Getting back to the question of why you got married in the first place, I would like to suggest that the marriage of a man and a woman is the natural order of things. The happiness derived from a successful marriage far outweighs anything that is achievable on our own as a single person, or even as a single parent. I've tried to express this idea to people who believe that the “single life” is the only way to be happy, but like so many things in life, sometimes you have to experience it to understand it. I've been single and happy and I've been married and happy. I will take the joy and wonder that is marriage, with all of its heartaches, over the happiness that is the single life any day of the week. Remember that anything in this life that is of true value or that will return long-lasting rewards comes with long-term dedication and effort. Everything else is fleeting and of little value over the long haul. I am greater as a married woman than I could ever be on my own. I have more strength, more love, more patience, more compassion, and more capacity than I could ever have without my spouse by my side helping me achieve my goals. I could never have achieved so many of the accomplishments of my life without his support, guidance, and dedication to my success. When a marriage is functioning properly there is a power that cannot be equaled from any other relationship on earth. If you have experienced this power -- congratulations and keep working on it!